69) Necessary Evil

With the two Koreas tense after an exchange of artillery gunfire, alot of my friends (myself included) are inclined to be subconsciously afraid of world war three. North Korean military is no joking matter, especially when nuclear weapons are thrown into the equation.

Now that the U.S. carrier George Washington is in the Yellow Sea to help South Korea perform military maneuvers, both sides have their guns locked and loaded. It's no longer a matter of who fires first, for we already know that. It's a matter of who has more restraint.

Let's not forget that the North Korean throne has just passed to Kim Jong Il's younger son, Kim Jong Un. Will this younger leader show military restraint, or we he finally take the first step to reunify Korea in a bloody conflict? For the sake of the world, let's hope he makes the right choice.

And hence we arrive to my conclusions on war:

It is a necessary evil. Hundreds and thousands of years of war has not quelled the human instinct for violence. It sure as hell isn't going to stop soon. World peace is an idealist illusion formed out of hope, hope which is dimming by the second.

I hold this hope too. That one day world peace can occur. But for the moment, we're not ready. We're not ready until the entire world perishes in a nuclear fire, not until we understand that our capacity for hostility is the greatest setback to the utopias we try to build for ourselves.

Let's face it: without war, we have no way to gauge our appreciation for peace. We would not know the cost, the value, the beauty of pacifism. We cannot deprive the world of it's outlet for innovation and bravery.

Of course, it's more than valid to argue that the cost in lives is not worth it.

Which is why I always remember a little thing I wrote:

If humanity is not immortal,
And death is never rare,
Why fear the end,
Or how we get there?

But that's just me and my pessimism. For those who still believe in the notion of world peace, I encourage you to never stop trying.

But if tomorrow we die in a nuclear firestorm, I won't fear it. Not because I saw it coming, but because I understood why it happened.

That's worth a helluva lot when you're talking about human nature.

45) Me and Lunar GERTY

In June of 2009, there was a science fiction movie called Moon, directed by Duncan Jones, starring Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacey. It made its debut at Sundance, and has received several nominations and awards since.

It is the story of a man named Sam Bell, who, in the near future, works alone on the moon for a company named Lunar industries. He spends his days with monotonous work, driving and monitoring harvesters that collect helium-3 for power supplies back on Earth.

With more than enough time for recreational model building, Sam amuses himself with week old broadcasts, occasional live talks with his family back home, and ranting at the base AI smiley face named GERTY.

As the movie wears on, you get to see Sam toil on in his depression, loneliness, and paranoia as he struggles through his three year contract in order to get back home.

I'm not going to ruin the movie for you, because even if you hate watching halfway through, the twist ending makes it all worth it.

Reflecting back on Sam's lunar life makes me think alot about my own tumultuous path. Because writing this at four in the morning, gripped by insomnia, has given me the perspective clarity I've seeked for so long.

Every once in a while, if the conditions are just right, the moon casts a pale blue light into my room, straight onto my bed. I can't fall asleep unless it's pitch black, so the light blinds me into insomnia. The window curtains don't do much.

Tonight is one of those nights. It seems a bit too much to try and move my bed into another position, but then again, the prospect of sleep has never been so attractive.

Maybe that's why I associate with Sam so much. We share a common hate of the moon, and we'd both like an AI companion named GERTY who sports a yellow smiley face.

The real reason why I loved the movie, felt so much emotion for Sam, is because I feel like him. Lonely, apathetic, and self-loathing, no one's ever given me a real reason to carry on, not even with the prospect of false hope. We're both trapped in a world of isolation, so eager to escape our confinement, yet so scared of change at the same time. We're waiting for that one event to spur us into action, to push us over the edge.

Sam finds the courage to liberate himself in the movie, and in the end, is satisfied with what he becomes. This is because he chose his path, not because he yielded to circumstance. He created his destiny.

I may believe in fate, but its important to understand that you only hold that belief for as long as you believe you are powerless to control your future. Nobody blames you for being scared to face the unknown.

But even as I stare into that pale faced moon, I can't ever sleep in peace. And I'm not willing to move the bed either.

Who knows? Maybe one day I might end up like Sam, working on the surface of the moon, pained by eternal solitude.

At least I'll have GERTY.

33) Convulsion's Smile

Listen as your enraged host rambles endlessly on the Mexican Drug War, Arizona's rambo immigration bill, President Obama's popularity in a tailspin proven with the don't ask don't tell policy speech interruption, violent political protests in Bangkok, Thailand: with accompanying video, and an ending message of hope.