77) Lack Of Words

As a classical pessimist, It's not hard for me to spin world events into a collection of indicators revealing the end of the world. Besides the regular news of war and disaster that have become increasingly vital in the past few weeks, I'd like to share my take on what it all means.

As I'm currently trying to enjoy my spring break, I'm plagued by writer's block. Not because I have nothing to write about, but because I have failed to find a satisfactory method to express my feelings toward world events. It would be easy to blame school for my lack of inspiration, but in the end, there are some things that need to be said, regardless of circumstance.

There are never enough words to express thought. The English language is varied and ambiguous, with a lexicon that can sometimes perverse meaning. The opposite is also true, allowing for simple shades to dictate powerful and specific words like "red" or "liquid". And don't even get me started on describing metaphysics.

As the aftershocks in Japan continue to take lives, and another war is being born in Libya, I would like to describe the state of affairs using a simple word:

Human.

Now, this isn't me being lazy by lacking specifics, which I will get to in a second. It is, ironically, me being highly specific by using a word that is very general, yet describing lone concepts present in everybody that are easy to understand.

When I first heard of the earthquake in Japan, my eyes were glued to the screen as I watched houses being swept away, wondering how many bodies were underneath all that rubble. The only thing my mother complained about was how she had just lost money by buying Japanese stocks that were now destined to lose value. As I pointed out that there were people dying on the screen, she told me about her frugality: "It's human nature."

As news stories unfolded about the devastation, I continued to watch in horror, angry at mother nature for killing innocent lives for some cruel and unjustifiable reason. I wanted to help.

On Facebook, a help Japan group sprouted overnight, which would give a cent to the Red Cross for every person that joined. It reached its numbers goal overnight. Support like this, along with help from many other countries, poured in to aid Japan in its time of need.

On the other hand, I came across a picture compilation of Facebook statuses saying that the tsunami was payback for Pearl Harbor. And then there was that one religious girl who claimed she had prayed for the destruction and death of the nonbelievers. She was promptly forced off of Youtube in the face of death threats when her address was made public.

When it was reported that aftershocks would sweep across the Pacific, I worried for my good friend in Hawaii. Luckily, he was okay when the weakened waves hit. I worried for my own life when the tsunami advisory warning was issued for the West Coast.

But I'm here today, still in shock over the devastation that has occurred. It gave me a glimmer of hope to hear that even the Yakuza in Japan had ceased their crime operations to keep order and provide disaster relief. It was a quote along the lines of: "Sometimes, we are just human beings trying to help each other."

I feel sadness for many of my friends who have relatives in Japan. One of them is an angry and bitter sadist now reduced to constant worry, streaming Facebook statuses that fears for the safety of a certain person. I don't know who it is, but I hope they are alive and well.

Not too many days after the quake in Japan, the world's spotlight became shifted, and now rests on Libya as war unfolds. Gadhafi is vowing to fight to the death as UN coalition forces converge to protect innocent civilians from the line of fire. As Benghazi and Tripoli burn, we are again reminded for the human compulsion to fight and die.

Despite all this terror and tragedy, I still look at the word "human" and try to dissect its meaning. What I've found are people holding onto each other as their homes and lives are destroyed by a great flood. I see people worrying about each other thousands of miles away. I see aid flowing in from all directions for Japan, signs that the world shares a common bond in the face of unjustified death.

I see "human" in the revolutions that rock the Middle East, along with the continuing war in Afghanistan and Iraq. I watch as the Associated Press shows footage of a jet crashing into the ground after it takes a direct hit by a missile. It spirals into the ground, engine on fire, crashing with a large and booming explosion. I see a Tomahawk cruise missile launch from the deck of a coalition warship, streaming smoke and fire in its wake.

Yes, the English language struggles when I try to describe what "human" means. It is a careful mix of compassion, sadness, cooperation, anger, practicality, freedom, and everything in between.

And as a "human", I advocate that we continue to survive because of all these things. Humanity is a blessing when we can help our neighbor after their house is destroyed. Humanity is a curse when we turn against that neighbor after they've found a new life.

But in this desperate hour, we stand divided and united. We fight our petty wars, mourn our family members, and try to see the dawn after a long and perilous night.

So maybe it's for the best that the English language won't let me fully define "human" to a satisfying extent. To do so would take away from its unique and sacred qualities that dictate our abilities to survive, live, love, and die.

All I know is that we are human.

And most importantly, humanity survives. We will do what must be done, right or wrong.