45) Me and Lunar GERTY

In June of 2009, there was a science fiction movie called Moon, directed by Duncan Jones, starring Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacey. It made its debut at Sundance, and has received several nominations and awards since.

It is the story of a man named Sam Bell, who, in the near future, works alone on the moon for a company named Lunar industries. He spends his days with monotonous work, driving and monitoring harvesters that collect helium-3 for power supplies back on Earth.

With more than enough time for recreational model building, Sam amuses himself with week old broadcasts, occasional live talks with his family back home, and ranting at the base AI smiley face named GERTY.

As the movie wears on, you get to see Sam toil on in his depression, loneliness, and paranoia as he struggles through his three year contract in order to get back home.

I'm not going to ruin the movie for you, because even if you hate watching halfway through, the twist ending makes it all worth it.

Reflecting back on Sam's lunar life makes me think alot about my own tumultuous path. Because writing this at four in the morning, gripped by insomnia, has given me the perspective clarity I've seeked for so long.

Every once in a while, if the conditions are just right, the moon casts a pale blue light into my room, straight onto my bed. I can't fall asleep unless it's pitch black, so the light blinds me into insomnia. The window curtains don't do much.

Tonight is one of those nights. It seems a bit too much to try and move my bed into another position, but then again, the prospect of sleep has never been so attractive.

Maybe that's why I associate with Sam so much. We share a common hate of the moon, and we'd both like an AI companion named GERTY who sports a yellow smiley face.

The real reason why I loved the movie, felt so much emotion for Sam, is because I feel like him. Lonely, apathetic, and self-loathing, no one's ever given me a real reason to carry on, not even with the prospect of false hope. We're both trapped in a world of isolation, so eager to escape our confinement, yet so scared of change at the same time. We're waiting for that one event to spur us into action, to push us over the edge.

Sam finds the courage to liberate himself in the movie, and in the end, is satisfied with what he becomes. This is because he chose his path, not because he yielded to circumstance. He created his destiny.

I may believe in fate, but its important to understand that you only hold that belief for as long as you believe you are powerless to control your future. Nobody blames you for being scared to face the unknown.

But even as I stare into that pale faced moon, I can't ever sleep in peace. And I'm not willing to move the bed either.

Who knows? Maybe one day I might end up like Sam, working on the surface of the moon, pained by eternal solitude.

At least I'll have GERTY.