88) Forsaken Reflections

As a blogger whose activities in blogging have waned, I'd like to look back on these past and solemn posts I've written to write a few notes to myself on what I've done here. In the process, maybe update and write up on what exactly has been happening to me these few months on hiatus.

I need to have some validation on why I started this blog and why, painfully, I try to update it but never seem to get around to it. YOM's original purpose was for turning in homework for my high school English class for Mr. Sutherland, whom I sincerely thank for starting me on this path. I convinced myself that it was to provoke thought for those who read my posts, and perhaps I still hold this belief. Long after the class has ended and I have moved to further my education in college, I realize more and more this blog exists as sort of a personal diary more than anything else. More often than not, this blog has existed as a barometer, a gauge of my desire to express myself and reaffirm my hope in humanity (or lack thereof) and see the value of debate and words.

It all started with the important questions. I was always interested and became seduced with sociological and existential ones because they forced me to think very carefully about my perspectives regarding the world. I had to decide, or in many cases, remain neutral as to what my views were. I do less and less of it these days, which really does explain my lack of updating this blog.

I think, perhaps more than anything, this blog is a legacy of a younger time in my life, when I was less jaded and more hopeful of the world.  I no longer hold the views I once did, and I see this world in a much more somber and depressing tone, not worthy of my writings and ramblings.

Since I'm such a believer in absorbing experiences and moving on, I can honestly say in simpler terms, that I was a lot more hopeful when I was in high school. Reading my past posts, that in itself was a miracle. I guess it's time for me to move on out of my stubborn little megabytes of data that comprises this page and the pages before it.

Regardless, I am grateful for all the things I learned about myself and others. I will never forget how this blog all started and came crashing down at the very end. I hope future me will someday come back and look at all of this as proof of my growth, at a time when I would have otherwise refused to believe in my own development as a person.

I think I've "grown" out of blogging. That's a debatable statement, but I no longer possess the energy to coherently debate and think about it. My personality has been drained out of writing anymore. I need closure on this chapter of my life. For everyone who's kept up with me over the years, I thank you for your time. I might come back someday and pickup where I left off. Humans are indecisive like that.

Until then, good night and good luck.